Read This Book…

This delightful little graphic guide has information for a range of people, starting with information on what pronouns are to some advice for people who use gender-neutral pronouns themselves.

The Oxford English Dictionary traces the singular they back to 1375 and most of us are familiar with already using it. For example, if I’m sitting in a restaurant and a group of people at a table nearby leaves I may look over and say, “Oh, someone left their sunglasses.” This book focuses on using they/them pronouns as singular, especially for a person who is nonbinary.

Archie Bongiovanni uses they/them pronouns and their co-author Tristan uses he/him pronouns. I really like that they’ve co-authored because readers get information from both the perspective of the person who uses the pronouns for themself as well as from a person who uses gendered pronouns and has been learning to use gender-neutral pronouns and implemented their use at his restaurant.

There are a number of gender neutral pronouns that a person can use: ve, zie, per and more. While this book focuses on they/them pronouns, everything in this book can be applied to other gender neutral pronouns as well. If you’re looking for reasons why a person might use gender neutral pronouns, that information is not in this book. Truth is, there are many many reasons and it’s not necessary to know why in order to use them.

Archie talks a little bit about how it feels when people misgender them and use the wrong pronouns, and how impact matters more than intent. There’s advice on how to ask for someone’s pronouns (as well as how not to) and what to do if you get someone’s pronouns wrong.

The book also touches a bit on gender neutral pronouns for groups instead of saying “hey guys” or “hey ladies.” There are so many words you can use instead! The book suggests “hey everyone, hey y’all, and hey folks.” Personally, I like to add that “fools, peasants, and people of Earth” are also all gender neutral.

I really appreciate the section on what to do if you witness someone using the wrong pronouns for a friend because I know I tend to get like a deer in headlights when that happens around me so it helps to practice having something prepared while making sure to talk with your friend first. There’s also a section for folks who are non-binary where Archie gives some advice on coming out and finding support.