Sponsored by Ace of Spades by Faridah Àbíké-Íyímídé with Fierce Reads.
How can you play the game when the cards are stacked against you? The debut Entertainment Weekly calls “this summer’s hottest YA debut” is a blistering exploration of racism, identity, and privilege. When Devon and Chiamaka are selected to be part of their elite school’s senior class prefects, it looks like their year is off to an amazing start. Shortly after the announcement, someone begins using anonymous text messages to reveal secrets about the two of them that turn their lives upside down. What seemed like a sick prank quickly turns into a dangerous game.
Welcome to Read This Book, a newsletter where I recommend one book that should absolutely be put at the top of your TBR pile. Recommended books will vary across genre and age category and include shiny new books, older books you may have missed, and some classics I suggest finally getting around to. Make space for another pile of books on your floor because here we go!
Today’s pick has been an absolutely life-altering read for me. Each of this author’s Instagram posts prompts deep introspection and examination of my toughest relationships as well as my own behavior. This book is an extension of those online nuggets of advice she is known for.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab
Nedra Glover Tawwab is a therapist, content creator, and expert at boundaries. While this book is built on the premise that boundaries are healthy and make strong foundations for healthy relationships, it goes well beyond just cheerleading. There is actual concrete advice for drawing boundaries from what words to say and how to say them to advice on when boundaries should be drawn.
So many of us resist drawing boundaries out of fear. Fear that we will appear mean by drawing boundaries. Fear of the guilt that comes with drawing boundaries. Fear that drawing boundaries will end a relationship. Fear that we don’t deserve to have boundaries with a certain person or people, like our parents. She addresses all of this in explicit detail and it is simultaneously a wake-up call and a hug of support.
Tawwab is often asked how we can draw boundaries without feeling guilty and her answer caught me by surprise. Because her answer is, you don’t. Guilt is a natural part of drawing boundaries and her goal is to not try to alleviate guilt, but instead to offer some solid ways to manage the guilt that always comes with the territory. I, for one, was certainly shocked to learn that my guilt around drawing boundaries isn’t because of some internal weakness.
The book is divided into two parts. The first part is on understanding the importance of boundaries. What are they? What is the cost of not having boundaries? What are the six types of boundaries? And more. One particularly potent chapter in this section is on what boundary violations look like. I was in a full-body cringe reading about guilt trips. The second part of the book is some solid advice on how to do the boundary work in your own life.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace is the best book I’ve read this year and it may end up being my favorite book of 2021, not to mention an automatic addition to my annual rereads list.
That’s it for now, book-lovers!
Patricia
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