In Which Marsupials Are Generally Terrifying

This was The First book that I thought of when I decided on this topic. In fact I’m pretty sure that that cover has permanent residence in my subconscious (and my nightmares). Right next to that terrifying video of that real life kangaroo trying to get into some guy’s house that’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life. The claws! Why does it have claws?! Basically: Kangaroos are terrifying. Which means that they make for perfect foil for some classic creature horror in Alan Baxter’s The Roo in which an evil kangaroo menaces a remote little town, taking out the inhabitants one by one. The locals are going to have to join forces if they want to survive this hippy-hoppy menace from hell.

I didn’t get acquainted with Christina Henry’s work until this year, but I’m definitely well on a way to becoming a fan. She’s got fantastic range, and having Near the Bone be the first book of hers I read was a good life choice. It’s also a book that I wanted to include on this list because there is a genuinely creepy wolf/bear/monster/thing in this book, capable of snatching a grown man clean off his feet in the blink of an eye. But, it’s not the only, or the biggest monster in this book. Yes, Mattie and the cryptozoology enthusiasts trying to rescue her from the mountain are trying to make it to the bottom without getting monster snatched. But they wouldn’t be trying to rescue her in the first place if it weren’t for William, the real monster in this book, who has kept Mattie captive on the mountain since she was child. The monster was scary, but it was definitely William I wanted to stab.

Okay, so, technically this is a were-possum (omg that just make’s me so happy) book, but aside from poor Tiffany’s sudden marsupial evolution, Playing Possum is really about a small town being pitted against, and I quote, an army of “ravenous furry hell-beasts”. So it qualifies. It also gets bonus points for being queer horror! Tiffany’s life was going pretty well before her late night encounter with the possum of doom, she was even saving up to buy an engagement ring for her partner. Let’s just hope Vanessa doesn’t mind dating a were-possum, because ever since that parking lot run in, Tiffany’s been acting a bit… odd. I love this book so much. We have a delightful small town ensemble cast, including our leads, a deadly (cuddly) army of killer possums, and I honestly ask you: what else do you need?

Two words: Elk. Monster. One more word: Antlers. Listen, antlers are one of the gnarliest accessories in nature. Putting aside what they can do to us and all our vulnerable organs if applied correctly, have you ever seen an elk or a deer shed its velvet in the fall? Look it up, it’s amazingly disgusting. Now here’s were I admit that I hesitated to add The Only Good Indians to the list because technically the Elk Head Woman isn’t really an elk/animal/beast-thing. Not all the time, anyway, and not entirely. But I solemnly swear that this book will make you look sideways at every antlered animal that crosses your path, possibly for the rest of your days. And you didn’t even do anything to make the elk lady angry! But the four male leads of the novel did, and she will not stop until she has exacted her revenge on each one of them in as violent a manner possible.

Confession: my only real exposure to kaiju is the 1998 Godzilla movie, which I grew up with. Which I love, fight me. But I love the idea of giant creatures doing whatever it is kaiju… do? Knocking over buildings, eating some people, you know. The norm. Anyway! Ancient creature that’s basically a giant crocodile-thing from the Mariana Trench with a mouth full of teeth that are probably as long as I am tall? Yes, please. Awakened by a covert operation gone awry, this sleepy lizard baby is not happy that someone woke it up before its alarm, and it’s ready to wreak some havoc. The detective responsible for waking the creature finds himself teaming up with a couple of “Kaiju groupies” in an attempt to bring it down before it can cause anymore damage. But they’re up against not just the creature itself but also the shadowy criminal organization determined to harness the creature’s power to conquer the world.